Bittersweet

In my last post I alluded to the fact that I am currently horseless and mentioned that the past few months have involved a lot of tears. “A lot of tears” might actually be an understatement – I’ve accessed quantities of tears that I honestly didn’t know I possessed.

The last time I wrote about Marley directly, I was leaning toward shipping him out to NJ. I was admittedly a little anxious about it – I wasn’t sure what my schedule might look like if or when I got a NYC-based job, and I was hesitant to bring him into a completely new climate knowing there was a good chance that I might only see him once or twice per week. So there was that, and then as I started getting really serious about planning, there was also the crushing financial reality of living in NYC. My husband and I are actively saving to buy, uh, a shack or whatever we can afford in this ridiculous area, and at some point there might be kids on the horizon, and there’s also the general concept of Being Responsible and saving money. If you’re reading this blog you probably don’t need me to tell you that horses in general are like digging an enormous pit, then depositing a chunk of your paycheck directly into said pit and setting the whole thing on fire. Bottom line – before I pulled the trigger on booking Marley a one-way trip to the East Coast I took a deep breath, put my Adulthood pants on, and really looked at how much it was going to cost.

Spoiler alert: it was going to cost a shitload of money and consume a ridiculous number of hours per week.

Between board, assumed farrier and vet care, training, etc. the dollar$ added up really fast.

Layer on top of that the insult of having to drive across the island of Manhattan and vomit tolls in the general direction of the Port Authority every time I go to the barn, things begin to look a little bleak. Layer on top of that the fact that I would likely only see him twice a week, didn’t have a ready lease situation on the East Coast, and was concerned about him adjusting to mud, humidity, [insert horrific weather situation here]. Layer on top of that and that the fact that driving to the barn would often be a 2+ hour battle and result in a 5-hour minimum roundtrip excursion…

As you’ve probably guessed, I made the decision to put feelers out and see if I could find that perfect home in California.

I’ll be totally honest – a big chunk of me was hoping that I wouldn’t find that home and I’d be “forced” to bring Marley out here in the spring, try to find a half leaser, put him into training, whatever – just make it work. I didn’t post his ad aggressively or really actively seek out buyers – I just put a listing back on the CANTER site and figured we’d see what happened.

For a while nothing happened, and the horse crazy girl in my head was cheering loudly, starting to anticipate that I’d just bring him East in a few months. But then… the perfect situation came along. Totally out of the blue and something of a happy accident, but it was love at first sight for her, and after speaking with the potential new Marley’s Mom I knew she’d give him the most incredible life.

I held it together fairly well until this weekend, when Marley made the trip to his new barn. Reading updates about how the move was going and scrolling through pics that his new mom sent me was tremendously bittersweet. I have absolute confidence that Marley will be well cared for, loved, and ridden in a way that is perfect for him.

I’m so thrilled for his new owner and for him. I’m so thankful that I was able to dip my toe back into horse ownership with my big red monster.

I’m also more than a little heartbroken. What’s right isn’t always what’s easy.